I got an email from my boss this past Friday asking me to come up to our office in NJ this upcoming week for a couple of days. At the bottom of the note was also a mention that he wants me to go to our UK office soon as well as the German office within the next 6 months. On top of my usual travel for conferences (four trips already planned for the spring with a chance for a couple more) and a June NJ office visit, my travel schedule has taken a huge uptick. I didn't really think Cash recognized too much that I was gone or going away. Sure, there was the time that I came back from a three day trip and he promptly ignored me when I went to pick him up from day care (to which the teacher informed me that maybe "he was mad at me"...yeah, thanks for that), but overall he didn't seem to get it yet. However, after I booked my flight for Wednesday, I called a friend up in NYC to let her know I'd be in town and Cash came over to me and gave me a hug...and wouldn't let go the entire time I was on the phone. I think he's starting to get it.
Travel is an essential and important part of my career and if I continue to progress I will have to do it more, but it definitely doesn't help with the guilt parade that can be motherhood sometimes. However, giving up my career isn't an option for a number of reasons, including that I enjoy it and feel that (personally) I'm much more valuable to Cash as a working mother than I ever could be staying at home full time. I just do my best to make sure that when we have our time together during the day I'm fully invested in him and not distracted by other things. But the more he understands that mommy is leaving for a few nights and won't be there when he wakes up in the morning the harder it gets.
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